Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Kay's LiveJournal:

Sunday, December 15th, 2002
11:31 am	Oh man...this sucks You know, in talking with Davin, I realized that my last entry was semi wrong. We ran into a little conflict which included me being more truthful than I knew. I didn't realize what I put on that survey and when Davin brought it up, it hit me that it was the truth. I have no solid definition of Love. I can't. With the past happenings, I didn't realize that I am not confident enough. I feel so bad about what I did. I don't know if "sorry" is enough. Love can hurt as much as it can heal and I sincerely am wary about that because I have been there. Davin is an excellent guy and I really feel close to him. That's a good thing but that means love can hurt him a lot more than it can me. I really don't want that to happen. I want to love him, by his terms of love but that won't stop pain. What I want isn't important though. I mean, it is because all opinions matter in a relationship but right now, I don't want to worry about that now. I don't know what to do, nothing. I have never made a big mistake like this and I don't know what to do! (Comment on this)
Monday, December 9th, 2002
7:47 pm	Hurt in Love What is love? One can only imagine the glorious sensations of being in love with another. The hand holding, the smiling and the excellent feeling. But is this really love? Love's definition is based on perspective. Some people think love is sex while others think the opposite. I don't know why it has become like that but it is the truth. There has been happenings lately that have caught my attention. Love is a feeling, nothing more. A good feeling at times and a terrible thing at other times. That's inevitable. I don't understand much of love but I do know the feeling of it. It's pure excellence. You, for once in your life, feel whole like no piece from you is missing. When you other half is hurt, you feel twice as much pain as they do because you are not there to comfort them. When they are alone and you are not there, you feel compelled to talk to them, make it feel better. When you have a fight, you are not afraid to tell them what you think and why you think it because you know that it will lead to a stronger relationship. That is my definition of love. I think it fits me fine but the trouble is not understanding love, it's learning to spot it when it walks in front of you. Many people say that you know when you are in love. Well, that maybe so but how do you know what love feels like in the first place? I could feel like a want and not a need if you know what I mean. It could be the most painful thing you have ever felt in your life. No one knows and I don't think it is fair the way people expect you to know when you are in love. It hurts when you are left in the dust by someone who supposedly loved you. I know and I know that the one the I am with currently knows. He doesn't want to do it again to me because we had been together before. It was a relationship when we were young. Now, I have discovered that we have grown a lot from three years ago and even though we are still young, both of us have been through many different situations, learning as we go along. Now, I know we can have a more productive time together. I also know that we will not get married or anything. I plan to move off Hawaii where we live and he wants to stay here. There are some challenges that cannot be overlooked and some present obstacles a bit too big for both of us. That is inevitable and I know that I am too young to be thinking of marriage now. My time will come when I am ready and that is all I need to know. Love, is patient and I know that will be paid off... (Comment on this)
Monday, September 16th, 2002
9:05 pm	Is it possible? Is it possible to fall in love with something other than another human? Sure people say "I'm in love with my car." but that's not true. As soon as they crash it, BAM! They get a new one and say the same thing all over again. That's not love. What I mean by this kind of love is different. I mean falling in love with a TV show. Not only a TV show, but anime? To take it past obsession, so far past that you fear watching it for an unknown reason. Something, scares you to look at a clip of the show or even a character. When someone turns it on to watch the art of anime, you look away, trying to avoid it. You crave to watch it but something in you stops you and you end up forcing yourself to look away while listening to the sounds of the show. It feels like torture but you can bare it. It's nothing as bad as stealing a glance at anime, is it? So is this possible? Do the lines that I have printed before me hold any truth? (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 31st, 2002
9:48 pm	Its funny how parents live. I think, anyway. I mean, how many people can wake up in the morning and live through shit during the day, come home for more shit and say their life is normal. I'm sorry but that is not normal. The turn off is that they deal the same shit to their kids. Now my parents are ok. Heck, my dad is snoring away right now. But when they get delt the chores and the hate, what do they do? Nothing! They can't do nothing. Doesn't the law claim freedom of speech and when we speak our mind we get slaps. Isnt that illegal? (Comment on this)